In recent months, I encountered someone whose behavior left me utterly shocked—and if I’m honest, deeply disappointed. What began as what I believed was a respectful, professional connection quickly unraveled into a one-person performance:
A constant, blatant attempt to hijack every moment, every space, and every conversation, turning it into a stage for their own validation.
The final straw?
Attending a memorial service—a quiet, solemn gathering to honor someone deeply loved—and using it as a backdrop for selfies. Loud entrances. Wardrobe changes in the home of the grieving family. Public farewells like a celebrity leaving the red carpet. And throughout all this, guests stood in quiet reflection, holding memories and grief—only to be overshadowed by a loud, performative presence who clearly made the event about them.
I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing.
It’s one thing to grow through connection. To be inspired, supported, uplifted. It’s another thing entirely to use people and their moments—joyous or painful—as props for your own storyline. The excuse I received later? “I’m not a mean person. I didn’t mean to do that.”
But here’s the truth: Impact matters more than intention.
And when the behavior is repeated at every event, in every setting, and becomes a pattern, it stops being an accident. It becomes a choice.
A choice to grab the mic, even when it’s not your moment.
A choice to push others out of their space to steal the spotlight.
A choice to make someone else’s grief, celebration, or gathering all about you.
This isn’t confidence.
This isn’t presence.
This is manipulation disguised as charm. Attention-seeking cloaked in charisma.
It’s Time We Stop Applauding Performers in Personal Spaces
We are not here to be consumed for someone else’s validation. Our pain, our joy, our platforms, and our people are not stepping stones for personal gain.
If you walk into every space thinking, “How can I make this about me?”—please pause.
Ask instead, “What energy am I bringing into this room? Am I here to contribute or to compete?”
At some point, we must outgrow the need to perform in every room.
To constantly narrate our schedules, name-drop our connections, or spin moments to stay in the center.
At some point, growth must mean humility, not hunger for attention.
Yes, we all grow through each other.
But real growth doesn’t come from stealing the spotlight. It comes from knowing when to step back, when to uplift others, and when to let a moment belong to someone else.
We are all interconnected, yes.
But we are not props.
We are not audiences for your personal performance.
We are people. And we deserve to be seen, respected, and remembered for who we are—not overshadowed by someone else’s relentless need to shine.
