“It is impossible for you to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have.” – Cheryl Strayed
There are moments in life when everything changes—loss, betrayal, reinvention, or an unexpected twist that shakes the very foundation of who we thought we were. In those moments, we long for the comfort of what was familiar. But what happens when the life we knew is no longer possible?
Cheryl Strayed’s powerful quote captures this truth with raw elegance:
“It is impossible for you to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have.”
This is not just a quote about change—it’s about courage. It’s about acknowledging that the path forward requires a version of ourselves we haven’t met yet. That version might be bolder, quieter, softer, stronger, more unapologetic, or more vulnerable. But she is waiting. And she is you.
So how does one get there..
For many women, especially in midlife or after major transitions, there is a reckoning. We can no longer live the way we did before—people-pleasing, shrinking, staying silent, carrying others’ burdens at the expense of our own well-being. Whether it’s the loss of a partner, the end of a career chapter, or the quiet realization that our soul is hungry for something more… we are called to evolve.
And evolution is not about perfection. It’s about permission.
Permission to stop surviving and start living.
Permission to rewrite your story.
Permission to go on—as you never have.
So how do we move forward..
You cannot return to the woman you were. And you shouldn’t want to. She served her purpose. She got you here. But now, it’s time to embrace the unknown with grace.
Here’s how you begin:
- Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.
Your voice is valid. Whether in a boardroom, a relationship, or a mirror. - Let go of the need to be who everyone remembers you as.
That version may no longer fit the woman you are becoming. - Build new habits that reflect who you want to be, not who you used to be.
Tiny acts of self-respect each day—movement, boundaries, expression—add up. - Surround yourself with energy that expands you, not confines you.
Find those who see the new version of you and cheer her on.
Never forget…
You are not broken. You are becoming.
And while it may feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or even scary at times, remember:
Growth does not ask you to go back—it asks you to go deeper.
So take a breath. Let go of who you were supposed to be. And start walking as the woman you never thought you’d become—but always had the power to be.
“You must go on as you never have.”
And one day, you’ll look back and realize—you were never lost. You were just being redefined.
