I am not sure about the rest of you but living in the United States, I find that the shift of life begins to focus more on what people are “doing†Vs who they “areâ€, in other words “doing†Vs “beingâ€!
Even in our own daily lives we start measuring who we are by the number of things we can complete on our to-do list.
In order to make a change we need to understand that difference between these 2 states of mind -doing and being.
Doing is simply getting things done so you put this to-do list together mentally (or even on paper) and then you move forward completing them, sometimes even faster than they need to be done, and in the process, you may and do hurt many people because you get obsessed with simply completing your goals. We push aside emotions, and relationship to beat time.
When you are “being†it is a state of mind where you live for the present. You allow the space around you and within yourself to breathe and think. This allows for being open and aware of yourself and situations and people around you.
Living in the United States, many become obsessed with achieving certain goals, especially monetary ones. It begins with the state of survival to be able to support yourself and the family, and then more is not enough, and we want more and more. In this process we switch from “being†to “doing†and the rat race never ends. Our focus becomes connecting with people who can help us “do†Vs getting to know the person and their “beingâ€. Think about the questions we ask people and children around us when we meet them; “what do you do†and “what do you want to do when you grow upâ€. Imagine how the answer could differ if we simply asked them, “what kind of person are you†or “what kind of person do you want to beâ€?
Imagine the shift in our thinking. “What do you doâ€? and the response is for example “I am a teacher.â€
Now shift to “What kind of a person are youâ€? and the response could change to, “I want to make a difference in the lives of every child I meetâ€. Suddenly now you are getting to know the person rather than simply what they do. Your conversations become more meaningful and personal.
Being a positive influence on others begins with being positive about yourself first. I have often wondered why people shy away from helping others. Sometime helping someone else could simply be kind word or a listening ear and we can do this by shifting our balance from simply “doing†for ourselves to “being†a friend to others. Self esteem is not just seeing your good qualities but seeing them in others as well.
I hope that the Building Women Empowered Group can help all of us connect in the “being†Vs “doing†and we start sharing our thoughts with each other and dig deeper into new connections we make to be more compassionate and caring. The goal is to meet new people and get to know them on a deeper level.
