We’ve all seen it: groups of women who seem tightly knit, sometimes exclusive, sometimes hard to approach—what many call “clique” or “cliché” groups. While these clusters may appear social on the surface, they often limit deeper connection and inclusion. So, why does this happen?
It’s Not Always About Exclusion — It’s About Safety
For many women, forming a familiar group feels emotionally safe. It’s a comfort zone where validation, agreement, and predictability live. Especially in environments where confidence is low—whether due to body image, past experiences, or fear of rejection—sticking to “your circle” feels less risky than putting yourself out there.
Confidence vs. Comparison
When women feel unsure of themselves, they may seek connection through sameness, not openness. Insecurity can sometimes breed comparison, and instead of embracing diversity in personality, background, or opinion, women might cling to others who mirror their values or style. This creates a false sense of belonging—but doesn’t necessarily build confidence.
The Role of Social Conditioning
Women are often socially conditioned to compete—for attention, for approval, or for perfection. That competition can lead to subtle behaviors like exclusion, passive-aggressiveness, or forming tight groups to avoid vulnerability. It’s easier to hide insecurity behind collective behavior than to stand confidently alone.
What’s the Solution?
True confidence invites connection, not protection.
To move from cliques to community, we need to:
- Encourage vulnerability – Ask real questions and share real experiences.
- Model inclusivity – Make room for new people in your circle.
- Break the “perfect woman” myth – Let others see you’re figuring it out too.
- Compliment generously, not competitively – Build each other up without measuring yourself down.
When women grow confident in who they are, they stop needing to “fit in” and start authentically showing up. And when that happens, social circles become open, expansive, and empowering—not cliché.
“Confident women don’t compete or compare—they connect, uplift, and create space for others to rise too.” Rennu Dhillon
