Why Do Women Gossip?
(This blog is not to tear anyone down, but to shed light on how gossiping can be an indication of your own internal conflict within yourself)
According to the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) the world is currently home to more than 1.1 billion girls under the age of 18.
This means us women are poised to become the largest generation of female leaders, entrepreneurs, and change-makers that the world has ever seen!
But ladies, are we ready to be leaders and change-makers? If we cannot get a hold over ourselves, our attitudes, our bitchiness, our wagging tongues, then what leadership are we aiming for!?
I recall reading somewhere that if women ruled the world, there would be no wars. It would just be a bunch of countries not talking to each other.
Before we discuss gossiping, what does gossiping mean? Gossip is basically conversation centered around a personal and/or private affair of others. It involves repeating what was told, rumors, and idle talk about said person. Most of the time it involved fabricated, convoluted stories.
Let’s face it. Each of us are all guilty of gossiping and putting other women down at one time in our lives. Sure, when we were emotional teenagers and our bodies were utterly confused with all the physical and hormonal changes going on, was that an excuse to be bitchy and nasty?
Not really but for argument’s sake let’s say that was acceptable as we were immature and young.
But what’s the excuse now? Are you going to say your menstrual cycle or menopause!
I think one of the reasons why women can be unreasonably bitchy is the way their perceive relationships. For women we focus on the person (man or woman) and see the relationships we form as unique and irreplaceable. Men tend to see people as roles that are replaceable. Men have no problem, after a break – up to find another partner, be it a girl friend or wife. Women however fall apart and sometimes are unable to even think of having other relations as they went into the last one assuming it was forever. As women we create fairy tales from all our relationships.
So, when any relationship women are in (romantic, or friendship) are ruined, women take it personally and this affects their identity. Rejection is a very tough thing for most women to handle. I am not saying men do not feel pain or emotion during situations of breakup, but they are able to be more logical and move on. As women we take each break-up so personally, it hurts, and the revenge starts building up within us. The cattiness explodes within us, and we begin to gossip.
Gossiping is also the foremost way for women to connect, especially at the expense of others. Gossiping creates little niche groups and even if you are not a gossiper you get sucked into the dirt hauling for a sense of belonging to the group. The juicier the gossip the more intense we get with each other. Each group has this one loud leader and the rest follow like lambs. If this leader says we are not going to be nice to a person, the rest follow blindly. As men would say, “no-one has the balls to not do what the leader has planned!â€
This leads me back to my last blog where I speak about how women are other women’s worst enemies. Since women struggle to confront and handle conflicts, in fear of losing their social status in the group, instead they validate their feelings by bitching and fabricating.
It is also believed that women in general communicate and talk more than men. The average woman speaks about 20,000 words per day while the average man speaks only 7,000 per day, since their brains function differently. The female brains mainly function in communication while male brains mainly function in problem solving.
This takes me to the same event I talked about in the blog. I was parking my car when I could hear the bitchy comments about the host as this woman group entered the event. For someone listening from afar, they basically stripped the host of any dignity. The next thing you know, everyone was hugging each other and saying how they missed her. I was baffled. How on earth can someone with any self-respect do this? If you do not like someone then why even accept their invitations?
I practice one rule which ends up many times being struck off by these so-called niche parties. But I rather sit and enjoy my own company than stoop to the level of others to vent frustrations in fabricated words. I rather have a healthy confrontation with the person I am upset with, than waste my time discussing them. If you are going to gossip then try it without malicious intent. Is that humanly possible?
If you know me personally, then you know I’m all about the empowerment of women. If there is a problem, solve it. If it cannot be solved, move forward graciously and never look back. Try and model true empowered behavior which is to create a culture of self-respect and kindness. Live a life of accountability where we hold ourselves to higher standards.
In short, I choose to keep my distance from gossipers who are simply bullies and very insecure women.
